Someone said to me “I bet you’ll be relieved when 2020 is over...”
And that hit me. Not in the way I expected it to.
It hit me because my immediate response was “NO”. No, I don’t want 2020 to finish…………ever.
Because in 2020, my brother was still alive for the first 6 months. He was still alive and I could speak to him, see him, hear him, message him…………..and he’d respond. He would answer. He would smile, he would laugh. He would be there. 2020 is a year I will never forget. It has changed the world. It has changed our own worlds. It has changed everything.
Just writing this now, fills me with so much emotion. A mix of happy memories, joy, life, love.......blended in with tears of sadness, sorrow, loss, emptiness 😔
I’m holding on to 2020 because it feels like I’m holding onto my brother. When the clock strikes at midnight on 31 December 2020, I will cry 😢 .... I will cry my heart out. I will feel like I’ve lost my brother all over again. I will feel he is further away. I can see my hand holding his and he’s letting go. He’s letting go and drifting away and I’m alone. My heart is broken. I’m alone 😢
When I think about what our parents are going through, I cannot even begin to imagine. How are they still going, doing everyday life? How? How do they do this? It breaks my heart to know they are hurting and in so much pain and I can’t make it better for them. No one can 🙏
This is when I have to breathe. And remind myself that Stuart has transitioned, he didn’t die, he just transitioned back into his spirit 🕊He’s well, he’s watching over us, he’s with me now. I just can’t physically see him, and that’s what hurts so much right now. I want to see him so much. I want to give him such a big hug and tell him I love him 💙 I want to tell him he was and still is the best best best brother and I’m sorry I never told him, but I hope he knows this, I really hope he knows this. I have tears flowing down my face right now. I need to breathe. Just breathe........
Stuart has given me the courage to be me. To live my dreams. We are brought up that dreams are not real and we need to focus on academics and such like. Sod that! Our life is our life. It’s what we make it. It’s not for someone else to tell us what to do, how we should be, how we should think. We are all perfectly capable of being our true authentic selves and I think that’s what Stuart was trying to do and be. Love and kindness – 2 of Stu’s biggest strengths. He made sure others felt loved and were cared for, no matter what 💕. He was, and is, an angel of kindness and I will carry this on for you my brother, I will continue this for you with every single person I meet. That’s a promise 🙏
So, I’m still working through 2020 and how I will be able to transition to 2021 in a more serving, beneficial and positive way. I’m not there yet…………..one day at a time, one moment at a time, one step at a time. One thought can make all the difference 💛
Today, I say thank you to 2020 for opening up my eyes to believe in myself and to help others believe in themselves too 💚 2020 has actually been the biggest most impactful, insightful and challenging year so far. Life is precious. Life is short. Live your life now, not tomorrow, not next year or in 10 years…………live your life now, because you are you and that’s what makes each and everyone of us special.
Grief is a complex and deeply personal journey that can manifest in various emotional responses. For many, the loss of a loved one brings a whirlwind of feelings, including sadness, anger, confusion, and even guilt. Understanding that these emotions are a natural part of the grieving process can help individuals navigate their feelings more effectively.
Each person's experience with grief is unique, shaped by their relationship with the deceased and the circumstances surrounding the loss. For instance, some may find solace in reminiscing about joyful moments, while others may struggle with overwhelming sorrow. Acknowledging and expressing these emotions is crucial for healing and moving forward.
Finding Meaning After Loss
After experiencing a significant loss, many individuals seek to find meaning in their grief. This quest can lead to personal growth, as they reflect on their loved one's life and the impact it had on their own. Embracing the memories of the deceased can serve as a powerful motivator to live life more fully and authentically.
For example, some may choose to honor their loved ones by engaging in charitable activities or pursuing passions they had shared. This dedication not only keeps the memory of the deceased alive but also fosters a sense of purpose and connection to the world around them.
Supporting Others in Their Grief
Supporting friends or family members who are grieving can be a challenging yet rewarding experience. It is essential to approach these situations with empathy and understanding, as everyone copes with loss differently. Being present and offering a listening ear can provide much-needed comfort during such difficult times.
Additionally, practical support, such as helping with daily tasks or simply checking in regularly, can make a significant difference. By showing compassion and patience, you can help create a safe space for those grieving to express their feelings and begin to heal.
The Importance of Living Authentically
Living authentically involves embracing your true self and making choices that align with your values and passions. After a loss, many individuals reflect on their lives and may feel inspired to pursue dreams that were previously set aside. This newfound clarity can serve as a powerful catalyst for personal transformation.
For instance, someone may decide to take up a hobby that brings them joy or focus on strengthening relationships that matter most. By prioritizing authenticity, individuals not only honor their loved ones but also cultivate a life filled with purpose and fulfillment.
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