The first Christmas after my brother departed, I wanted to make sure he was still very much part of the season.
I started some new traditions, and this year will be the third Christmas without him physically here and it truly feels sadder than the previous two.
The first year I had several memory items made. Christmas baubles, personalised candles etc.
I included his name in the Christmas cards I wrote to those who knew him (know him!).
The presents to our parents were from both of us (not just me).
I bought a special candle for the Christmas table to light.
I laid flowers at his memorial bench and plaque.
I donated to several charities that I know he supported
And the new traditions that I started include my children (his niece and nephew who he left behind aged 3 and a half and are now 6). A wooden Christmas eve box each with specially chosen gifts from their Uncle Stu in Paradise. Every gift inside is carefully chosen and connected to Stu including photographs and poems. Setting aside special time at Christmas (on Christmas Eve) to enjoy time with Stu is so bittersweet but so needed.
In addition, I now buy a new bauble for the tree each year. This year it’s a little white wooden car with a tree on the roof – just perfect!
His absence this Christmas I think will be harder than the previous two years but that’s just my how my heart feels right now. We still have another 4 weeks and hopefully as I immerse myself in the activities with the children, I’ll be able to bring the magic and sparkle that I know my brother would much prefer. I can just hear his voice now telling me….”it’s all alright, watch lots of festive movies, eat lots of chocolate, go for winter walks and play lots of games”.
Okay, I will. And I know you’ll be with us too x
I still miss you though. We all do.
Ps. If you can make it snow that would be totally magical
Creating new traditions can be a powerful way to honor the memory of a loved one during the holiday season. By incorporating elements that remind us of them, we can keep their spirit alive and make the festivities feel more meaningful.
For example, starting a new ritual such as lighting a candle in their memory or creating a unique ornament each year can provide a sense of connection. These acts not only help in processing grief but also foster a sense of community with others who share similar experiences.
Navigating Grief During the Holidays
The holiday season can amplify feelings of loss, making it essential to find ways to navigate grief. Acknowledging the pain while also seeking moments of joy can create a balanced approach to celebrating the season.
Many individuals find solace in sharing their feelings with others who understand their journey. Support groups or online communities offer spaces where people can express their grief and find comfort in shared stories, making the holiday season a little less isolating.
The Importance of Community Support
Community support plays a crucial role in the healing process after losing a loved one. Engaging with others who have experienced similar losses can provide a sense of belonging and understanding during difficult times.
Participating in local events or online forums dedicated to grief support can help individuals feel less alone. These connections often lead to lasting friendships and a supportive network that can be invaluable during the holiday season and beyond.
Finding Joy Amidst the Sadness
It is possible to find joy even while grieving the loss of a loved one. Embracing moments of happiness, no matter how small, can help in the healing process and remind us that life continues, even in the face of sorrow.
Engaging in activities that bring joy, such as watching festive movies or spending time with family, can create a balance between honoring the memory of the departed and celebrating life. It's about creating space for both grief and joy, allowing the holiday season to be a time of reflection and love.
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