It’s 10 months today that my brother passed by suicide......I felt the need to write ✍️
....The world is starting to return to ‘normal’ or a new ‘normal’ and it’s okay if you are not joining in with everybody else’s enthusiasm and longing to get back to the pub, or into the shops, or meet up for reunion parties with friends and family.
There are many of us who have lost loved ones during this pandemic, for many different reasons. Many of us did not get the chance to say goodbye. We may have missed out on seeing them for months before they passed because of the lockdown. We may not have been aware when we woke up one morning that our text message to them would have been the last. Just an ordinary day, and yet………..they’d be gone by nightfall.
No “I love you”.
They were here with us at the start of the pandemic, but they are not here as we come out the other side.
We miss them. We won’t be able to hug them or make arrangements for the future now. We are adjusting to them living out of reach whilst those around us are reconnecting.
We have had to grieve in our own bubble, attend funerals with few mourners, put the wakes or ‘celebrations of life’ on hold. We’ve not been able to hug those who needed hugs the most; parents who have lost a child, friends who have lost their best friend, siblings who have lost their brother or sister…….the list is endless.
Go at your own pace, do what you need to do. Let the world get back to its ‘normal’ but know that your ‘normal’ is so very different now and you are taking each day as it comes; learning to live without the one (or ones) you’ve lost.
You are not alone; you can tell when you meet someone else who is going through a similar journey. A knowing smile or that look in the eyes can say so much.
We shouldn’t have to put on a mask to cover our pain, our loss, our grief. We shouldn’t have to hide away for fear of making others feel uncomfortable or for ‘ruining’ their new found freedom. Let them do what they need to do and let us do what we need to do. Grief should not divide us. This is the time we come together – support, love, understanding. None of us know what each of us are going through. A few kind words, a smile or that knowing look that says “I’m with you” is all we ask for.
We are stronger together. Tell your loved ones you love them, talk together more, take more photos and videos and make time for each other……..because you never know when it will be your last time together.