December 10, 2022

December 2022

The first Christmas after my brother departed, I wanted to make sure he was still very much part of the season.

I started some new traditions, and this year will be the third Christmas without him physically here and it truly feels sadder than the previous two.

The first year I had several memory items made. Christmas baubles, personalised candles etc.

I included his name in the Christmas cards I wrote to those who knew him (know him!).

The presents to our parents were from both of us (not just me).

I bought a special candle for the Christmas table to light.

I laid flowers at his memorial bench and plaque.

I donated to several charities that I know he supported

And the new traditions that I started include my children (his niece and nephew who he left behind aged 3 and a half and are now 6). A wooden Christmas eve box each with specially chosen gifts from their Uncle Stu in Paradise. Every gift inside is carefully chosen and connected to Stu including photographs and poems. Setting aside special time at Christmas (on Christmas Eve) to enjoy time with Stu is so bittersweet but so needed.

In addition, I now buy a new bauble for the tree each year. This year it’s a little white wooden car with a tree on the roof – just perfect!

His absence this Christmas I think will be harder than the previous two years but that’s just my how my heart feels right now. We still have another 4 weeks and hopefully as I immerse myself in the activities with the children, I’ll be able to bring the magic and sparkle that I know my brother would much prefer. I can just hear his voice now telling me….”it’s all alright, watch lots of festive movies, eat lots of chocolate, go for winter walks and play lots of games”.

Okay, I will. And I know you’ll be with us too x

I still miss you though. We all do.

Ps. If you can make it snow that would be totally magical